Dreams and Heartache.

16th March I came here, 

17th March, I started university. I met the people I'd be be with for the next three years, and I realized that the long lasting fun and good friendships I wanted to make in University, I had already made it back home. My loneliness became my companion, and I didn't have much to complain about...

18th March, I missed Home a little more. I felt like an intruder and I wished my Baba was here to tell me how to handle this or what I should do in the next step. 

19th March, I had milk for suhoor and a date and a cereal bar as my iftaar, and that moment I missed the warmth of my mom's love as it would fill the house and make it home. 

Days passed by, some flew, some slowed. I watched the lives of people and I realized how different yet similar human beings are. 

I sat and stared, the depths of my yearning elongated as I stared at my better half on the phone screen, halfway across the world. 

When I watched two girls passing the volleyball to each other, I missed my baby sister and her complaints about her hand hurting. 

I passed by a bookstore, and went in without a second doubt turning to debate with my older sister about what book is better, but I was met with the silence that seemed to accompany me everywhere.

My hands held onto any person wanting to be friends, but my heart was quick to realize that I couldn't find parts of my true friends anywhere no matter how hard I seeked. 

It's the start of a new life, but it's the end of an old one.

It's the beginning of many opportunities, but its leaving behind all that you love. 

Younger me ached for what present me has, but present me begged for time to rewind. 

It's silly how life works. 

Appreciation for the little things had always found its way to me, but today it felt like my appreciation wasn't enough. I can only long for things I had, wished for love to surround me here and cry for those I miss. 

But in the end it's all for the better of the future. 

For the dream. 

Who knew that to get to the happiness wanted in the future, you needed to suffer through storms of pain without any hands to hold you?

~ Meerab.